You can't make this shit up...

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by -=Lurker=-, Nov 9, 2010.

  1. -=Lurker=-

    -=Lurker=- **BANNED**

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    http://www.live5news.com/Global/story.asp?S=13465624


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    SENECA, SC (WCSC) - A burglary call for Oconee County sheriff's deputies turned bizarre Monday morning when their suspect was found naked with a mouse in his rectum and apparently drugged, an incident report shows.

    Authorities responded to Bernwood Circle near the town of Seneca late Monday morning after a resident complained of a burglar. When deputies arrived, they found Noah Smith, 31, lying face down and naked inside the doorway of the victim's home, the report stated.

    When the deputy tried to make contact with Smith, he slapped the deputy. In return, the deputy deployed his taser, which had no effect on Smith, the report stated.

    With reinforcements, deputies approached Smith again in the victim's bedroom. A deputy managed to handcuff Smith before he jumped off the victim's bed and tried to kick other deputies in the room, the report stated.

    Then, according to the report, Smith was pepper sprayed. Undeterred, Smith continued to kick at the officers and otherwise evade capture. He was struck with a police baton several times, and Smith attempted to bite the deputy.

    Smith's head and mouth were covered with a blanket to prevent him from biting. He was wrestled down so shackles could be placed on his legs and his arms were hog-tied, the report stated. An EMS crew responded and provided a stretcher to which Smith was also tied.

    Deputies and officers from the Seneca Police Department opined that Smith might have been high on mushrooms, and identified equipment that could be used to get high in the victim's home.

    During a medical exam at a nearby hospital, medical personnel found a mouse tail hanging from Smith's rectum. An X-ray revealed a mouse lodged inside Smith.

    He told emergency room personnel that he could not remember what had happened to him.

    After the medical exam, he was charged with resisting arrest, 1st and 3rd degree assault a battery charges, and indecent exposure. Smith was transported to the Oconee County Detention Center.
  2. ivwshane

    ivwshane We are all old school!

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    That would probably make the best FML post ever!
  3. Phant0m51

    Phant0m51 From Utah, NOT mormon

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    Would be awesome to hear the whole story. The news article is enough to peak my interest!
  4. Torx

    Torx Indigenous Nudist

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    i'd probably kill myself after i sobered from that.
    thats just embarrassing.

    now kids, make sure you have a 'sitter' with you when doing psychoactive/tropic/hallucinogenic drugs.
  5. mistawiskas

    mistawiskas kik n a and takin names

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    I can hear it now: waking up in a cellblock: "whatcha in for?"
  6. Goofus Maximus

    Goofus Maximus Too old to be this dumb!

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    PETA will sue his... well, they'll sue him for severe animal abuse, anyway! That poor mouse. It would have served him right if that critter had gnawed his way out of his poop-chute prison.
  7. jake

    jake Vagabond

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    What kind of drug equipment do you use to do mushrooms? All it takes me is a zip lock bag and my hand. Also no rodents have ever entered anyone I knew that did mushrooms.
  8. XEN

    XEN E Pluribus Funk

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    I was just about to say this, I suspect that there was more in his system than just boomers, or that this guy was this nuts before he took them.
  9. MSP

    MSP Haunting a dead forum...

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    Once the tazer and pepper spray were noneffective I would have supported the use of non-lethal force with a firearm. And if necessary, lethal force. Repeatedly attacking and trying to bite the officers = enjoy these 9mm slugs.
  10. mistawiskas

    mistawiskas kik n a and takin names

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    I was going to say that I've have never, in 20 years of eating them, seen anyone freak like that under the influence of any form of mushroom or organic compound. PCP.....yess! Shrooms....NO! The worst I ever did was laugh non-stop for 4 hours. It got to where i was laughing at the thought of laughing. Bite a cop, yeah right.
  11. ninefivezero

    ninefivezero infinite resolution

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    Talk about a bad trip.

    I'm with Torx, I'd kill myself out of embarrassment :p
  12. JZL

    JZL Ministry of Whack

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    Maybe if they'd searched a little farther up his rectum they woulda found one of those hallucinogenic Hawaiian toads.
  13. mistawiskas

    mistawiskas kik n a and takin names

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    sumbitch!!!! I been lookin' all over for that damn toad. ...............figures :wink:
  14. czechrboard tassia

    czechrboard tassia Likes gay people.

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    I'm going to drunkenly sum this thread up as "something about a dude..."
  15. mistawiskas

    mistawiskas kik n a and takin names

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    and a rodent. we cannot overlook the wildlife :wink:
  16. Torx

    Torx Indigenous Nudist

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    ^^ lol.

    Remember the rodent. Nevar Forget 11/11
  17. Miller

    Miller Tweak Guru

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    I was just thinking that, no way that guy was on shrooms, maybe pcp. I've taking a lot of shrooms, and that just doesn't happen
  18. nidex

    nidex Hood Rich

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    Also was thinking PCP. Somebody found the dust!
  19. mistawiskas

    mistawiskas kik n a and takin names

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    yeah, that shitz weird enough to do that to your head.
  20. nidex

    nidex Hood Rich

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  21. Coleman

    Coleman fresh off the corner

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    [video=youtube;OBJ3rkNq2ok]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBJ3rkNq2ok[/video]
  22. MSP

    MSP Haunting a dead forum...

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    Turns out it was a computer mouse.
  23. Goofus Maximus

    Goofus Maximus Too old to be this dumb!

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  24. mistawiskas

    mistawiskas kik n a and takin names

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    I'm not sure which is weirder. (but see last 1/2 of sig)