what is the worst thing a house guest has done in your home?

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by 86mcss, Aug 19, 2013.

  1. 86mcss

    86mcss Devouring your Soul

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    got the inspiration from another forum and thought it would be cool to see how you guise answer...
  2. Commissar Smersh

    Commissar Smersh 2020 Staff Member

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    Had loud, giggly sex at 3 am waking up my girlfriend and myself while I was giving them a place to crash for free while they got back on their feet. And ate my motherfucking cereal and responded with "come on dude, don't be unreasonable."

    They made it up later though by being there to pay half rent when I broke up with said girlfriend later.
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  3. Mr. Ali

    Mr. Ali Junior Member

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    Should have asked if you could either watch or join in, your loss bro
  4. Commissar Smersh

    Commissar Smersh 2020 Staff Member

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    250 lb chicks aren't my thing.
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  5. Lord Kain

    Lord Kain Keeper of the Timeline Staff Member

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    Don't discriminate! Tons of love :)

    Well, back at the university, a friend puked in my bathroom and barricaded the place for most of the night. Guys could pee in forties and then use the sink, but it was an ordeal for the ladies.
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  6. JZL

    JZL Ministry of Whack

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    Spiked a pizza with mushrooms.
  7. mistawiskas

    mistawiskas kik n a and takin names

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    Invited or uninvited guests?
    I had a kegger one night and when uninvited Hispanics party crashers were asked to leave, they came back with a gang.
    They broke every window in my house with nun-chucks and cut the guy up that asked them to leave (Larry) with a machete'.
    He nearly had his whole arm severed off. I had to shoot one of the gang members in the ass with a .22lr to get them running.
    We took Larry to the ER in the back of a new white leather el dorado that some chick borrowed from her mom.
    Never did hear from her again. I was wondering how she explained all that blood to her mom.
    That was semi typical Saturday night. What really pissed me off, was that one of the invited guests dropped a cig butt in a full quart jar of beer. I dozed off on the sofa with my rifle, after getting away from the ER . when I woke up I was hung over and thirsty. Guess what I grabbed to drink?
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  8. Lord Kain

    Lord Kain Keeper of the Timeline Staff Member

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    Shit! reading this I felt like watching a 80's teen movie!
  9. mistawiskas

    mistawiskas kik n a and takin names

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    My life was like fast Times At Ridgemont High.
    Another party and this guy got so drunk he thought the pantry was the can. He proceeded act accordingly.
    I caught him taking a wiz in there and tried to kick his ass out and he grabbed a knife and threatened me with it.
    I had to go to the utility closet and get my
    chainsaw. I chased his ass out to the street with that lit 16" mini mac. It was so fun I chased his ass all around the parking lot.
    The next day there was an eviction notice on my door and I had to find another apartment.
  10. MSP

    MSP Haunting a dead forum...

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    Somebody upper-decked my toilet at a party once. And keep in mind, this was a small gathering. 10 people maybe. And it was obvious who the culprit was. Funny thing is the same individual has spent the last 20 years trying to reach out to me on Facebook and such, and is completely mystified why nobody from school will associate with him.

    My buddy Andy used to spill drinks on my new carpet. Every... single... time... we partied. Got so bad that I kept a child's sippy cup behind my bar. He could use that, or go outside to drink.

    Not really my "house" per-se, but on a camping trip a girl I went to school with tried to bring some lightweight drunk kid into my tent because he didn't feel well. "Too bad, get his dumb drunk ass out of my tent!" Less than five minutes later I could hear him outside puking on the ground. Seriously, are there no women alive capable of predictive logic?
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  11. Lord Kain

    Lord Kain Keeper of the Timeline Staff Member

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    What's the meaning of "upper-decked"? Does it mean there was poop on the inside of the top cover?
  12. Commissar Smersh

    Commissar Smersh 2020 Staff Member

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    yup
  13. mistawiskas

    mistawiskas kik n a and takin names

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    Or.......on top of the seat. :eek:
    you ever see a wine drunk engage in explosive decompression? :eek::eek:

    Don't get me wrong. Not all keggers were filled with B movie shenanigans.
    I got laid at most all of them. A little bloodshed was a small price to pay for some of those babes. :cool:
    When I left the Willamette Valley (Portland/Salem) it seemed so quiet at parties. The action went from
    gang warfare to challenging the county mounties with arms bigger than theirs for wanting to trespass without warrants
    and shit like that. Not to mention our own style of home grown Duck Dynasty type shit. It was quite a culture shock at first.
    I quit that shit in 1987. I really don't miss it at all. ;)
  14. hans5849

    hans5849 Serious as a heart attack

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    I had a party at my parents house that they were about to sell. Old Corona 32oz that I got for free (perks of working in a bar). One of the guests decided to take a closet dowel and hit the walls with it, two of my friends got into an argument and put a hole in one of the walls by pushing one of them into it, and the basement smelled like spilled Corona. I was going to clean up two days later, but apparently they closed on the house... not my problem now!
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  15. mistawiskas

    mistawiskas kik n a and takin names

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    That's how I learned to do drywall repairs. :oops:
  16. hans5849

    hans5849 Serious as a heart attack

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    Oh, I was ready to do the drywall repairs.
  17. Goofus Maximus

    Goofus Maximus Too old to be this dumb!

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    My sister brought her dog... and fleas. We didn't discover it until the cat was nearly eaten alive, and the whole house was infested with little jumping black specs. It took a month of drastic countermeasures to finally kill the last of those things.
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  18. Sparky

    Sparky ¿sdooɥʍ

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    When I was a sophomore in college I ended up on the waiting list for on-campus housing because of repeated incidents involving alcohol, marijuana, and other miscellaneous violations during my freshman year. When I finally received a housing assignment in July, it was in a single. I was surprised how someone with status two housing got such a luxurious assignment, then I met my suitemate, a big sweaty asperger'd Jew from Florida.

    He was a well-meaning guy, and we mostly stayed out of each other's way, but we the bathroom became our battleground. I don't know how he did it, but he managed to make the bathroom smell awful AFTER he showered. But his big problem was peeing and pooping on the toilet seat and using said excrement as a sort of gesso for his pubic hair art. I had to have an awkward conversation about general bathroom cleanliness and not leaving his big smelly towels all over the place, but none of it ever really sunk in.

    All in all though, he was more comic fodder than actual annoyance and I ended up sticking it out with him for two years. One time he popped his head in my room after my girlfriend came out of the shower and saw her topless from behind. He nearly died from embarrassment. We had pet mice too, which he definitely got a kick out of holding. That made us a bit nervous, conjuring up Of Mice and Men imagery. Haha, I could go on and on with that guy!
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  19. Miller

    Miller Tweak Guru

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    • had a party at my parents house when I was 18, some jackass put an aerosol can in the over and turned it on, lucky i had a sober buddy find it.
    • crowchaser pissed in my sock drawer (he was hammered and thought it was the can.)
    • someone else pissed in my sock drawer.
    • some Mexican motherfucker was mackin on my roommates gf, so he got kicked outta the party, came back the next day with his possie. i had to throw them out with my meat hook.
    • two assholes were trying to see how far away from the garbage they could piss in my basement, beat one of them with a monkey wrench.
    • let someone crash at our place for free, he just had to do the dishes, he didn't so he got the boot.
    • some assholes got fucked up and wrapped all our stuff with wrapping paper.
    • we were hanging out with some dude that was over all the time, and he robbed us blind.
    • people putting out cigarettes on the carpet.
    • i made a big bunch of spaghetti with meatballs and the mother fuckers got drunk and ate it all.
    • golf driving range in the house (i was a part of this one)
    • some bitch tried to fuck my buddy on my bed, he had enough sense to say no.
    • roommates girlfriend invited her parents to our underage new years eve party. that was pretty fucked up.
    • roommates girlfriend pretty much moved into our house uninvited, invited all her friends over, lived there, was a bitch.
    That's about all i can think of right now.
  20. Mr. Ali

    Mr. Ali Junior Member

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    Honestly, if even one of the above things happened I wouldn't invite anyone over.
  21. mistawiskas

    mistawiskas kik n a and takin names

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    Why? It sounded "normal" to me. ;)
  22. Goofus Maximus

    Goofus Maximus Too old to be this dumb!

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    Was it the same roommate's girlfriend in both instances?
  23. Miller

    Miller Tweak Guru

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    yes
  24. MSP

    MSP Haunting a dead forum...

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    I know it's a condition and all that, but I have no tolerance for aspergers people. But the sad thing is that these days it's hard to tell them apart from the average self absorbed, fat, smelly American.
  25. Sparky

    Sparky ¿sdooɥʍ

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    Hahaha yeah, I kinda treated him like a sociological experiment. He was a well-meaning guy, but ughh. I kept thinking, "this dude's degree is worth exactly the same as mine." Probably an assholish train of thought, but whatever. His original major was Communications. HOW IS THAT GOING TO BE POSSIBLE, BUDDY? Don't worry, he changed it... to Criminal Justice. *facepalm*

    Oh yeah, I lived in an apartment with 3 gay dudes. That was groovy, but if anyone was the bad houseguest there it was probably me. Wait, no. One of my friends fell asleep on our couch and emptied his bladder on it. That was pretty disgusting, but he was a sad little kitten about it so it was slightly pathetic. We just Febreezed it. Urine's sterile, right? :D

    But I was the guy getting blackout drunk and tripping over shit. I cracked some ribs after playing flip cup with 92 proof bourbon during a huge house party the night before 4/20. I ended up in bed around 9. When my girlfriend got out of work at 10 and went over to my apartment they were like, "he's asleep," pointing to my bedroom.They tried to get me up, but I was sound asleep. The problem was that I had thrown in on an ounce of bud and the midnight hout was approaching. I told them to just go for it. That was the only night I slept there, lol. YOLO! ;)