Stupid apricot tree!

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by tweakmonkey, Jul 19, 2009.

  1. tweakmonkey

    tweakmonkey Webmaster Staff Member

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    Just kidding.

    Remember I talked about all the stuff growing in my yard, and there was that mystery tree without fruit? Well despite barely watering it, this year it actually produced a ton of fruit: several huge bowls full of apricots.

    I had never done anything with apricots before, so I made some jam first, and homemade biscuits from scratch (with cinnamon and sugar):
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]

    I felt like Martha Fuckin' Stewart, so when I noticed another huge bunch of apricots about to fall, I picked those off.

    At first I thought I should make pie, but then I stumbled across a recipe for coffee cake. I started preparing things...
    [​IMG][/url]

    And realized the following problems:
    -The instructions were written for Europe and everything was measured in grams instead of cups etc.
    -I had no baking soda (I did have baking powder)
    -I had no eggs (and don't use them anyway)
    -I had no milk (soy milk will work)
    -I had no cream
    -I had no butter
    -My food processor was only half the size required (see pic) to mix the batter.

    Apparently those things are usually used for cooking coffee cakes.

    After doing some conversions and then dividing it up, I decided to mix half the batter at a time in my food processor. In place of eggs (as in the case of banana bread) you can use a half banana and some water. In place of milk I used soy milk, and I had some vegetable shortening and 100% vegetable (non-dairy) margarine, so that was enough to get the batter mixed up. I read you can use extra baking powder instead of baking powder and baking soda, but we'll see. I also mixed in a little bit of cinnamon.
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]

    The top "stuff" is usually heavy cream, an egg, and some sugar that's been whipped around. I had to make do with what I had: peach soy yogurt, sugar, another half banana, and soy milk. I also added a tiny bit of water and blended it all up with my food processor, then poured over the top.
    [​IMG]

    I put it in the oven at 360F for 40-minutes. The whole house smelled awesome. I just pulled it out a few minutes ago and added some confectionist sugar. I haven't tasted it yet. I hope it doesn't kill me.
    [​IMG]

    And I still have like 10 lbs of apricots. :lol:
  2. Caucasian Hammer

    Caucasian Hammer Jesus, Man.

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    And now I'm hungry...dick :p
  3. ninefivezero

    ninefivezero infinite resolution

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  4. mistawiskas

    mistawiskas kik n a and takin names

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    That is one fruit that simply has to be added to my orchard!!! That looks so good! i need to start buying a few pounds here and there from various store until i fing a strain that is really good. then winter the seeds over at the compost heap for the winter and transplant the seedlings when they come up. I love the apricots!
  5. -=Lurker=-

    -=Lurker=- **BANNED**

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    cant be worse than Bud Lite Lime. ;)
  6. tweakmonkey

    tweakmonkey Webmaster Staff Member

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    Hah you're the king of noticing small details in photos.

    I haven't tasted it yet. Brought it to Alex's house and I'll let everyone here try it soon.
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  7. tweakmonkey

    tweakmonkey Webmaster Staff Member

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    Well, it's good. The cake itself is perfect. Just like a coffee cake should be. The apricots are a tad bit slimy but I think it's because I didn't store it in the fridge etc. Not bad though! Especially for a first try.
    Posted via Mobile Device
  8. Phant0m51

    Phant0m51 From Utah, NOT mormon

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    Son of a bitch all that looks good. MAIL ME SOME YOU ASSHAT! <3
  9. MaesterB

    MaesterB King of the Wicker People

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    I've got an apple tree in my backyard that's looking very fruitful this year (compared to year's past).

    HOPEFULLY, my wife will be daring and actually go on a baking binge (pies and what not).
  10. couturedharlot

    couturedharlot couture with a chaser

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    damn you, you make me want to go bake pie now instead of going to class :(
  11. MSP

    MSP Haunting a dead forum...

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    I like Bud Light w/ Lime.

    The next batch of apricots you should dry and bag. Those are delicious.