Family Question

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by Tacdriver, Mar 15, 2012.

  1. Tacdriver

    Tacdriver Junior Member

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    I've been married 23 years. I adopted my wife's kids 19 years ago. My 2 kids have a half sister whom they love as do I. She's been here many times to visit in particular, my son. She is now a Mother. This weekend her entire family is coming including my wife's Ex. Am I a chump for allowing him to stay here? I don't want him here but, part of the (unsaid) bargain is allowing my son to see his half sister. I just want to do what is right by him but perhaps my ego is getting in the way but...............I think about it for a tick and I'm like, "My wife's Ex is in my house and spending the night?" Am I being ridiculous? I don't wish to come across as a selfish prick if I nix this.
  2. crowchaser

    crowchaser not to be taken seriously

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    it has been 23 years, as long as the guy is well adjusted, polite, and shows you respect in your home i think it will turn out ok, your ego will have to take one for the team i guess, plus it's not like he is gonna be sleeping in between you and your wife right?
  3. Tacdriver

    Tacdriver Junior Member

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    True Crow. I haven't even brought this up with my wife or son. I think I'm pretty surprised no one has asked my opinion. I really don't know why either. That's kinda why I was wondering if I was being a pushover.
  4. MSP

    MSP Haunting a dead forum...

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    Neither my ex nor my wife's ex would ever be welcome in my home, and neither of us would be so rude as to even ask the other if it was OK. Must less assume that it was. Your feelings are valid, they're being out of line.
  5. mistawiskas

    mistawiskas kik n a and takin names

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    I've gotten along with all my wives ex's. A lot of it depends on the circumstances of why they split. I'm not sure I would put them up for the night though.
  6. Commissar Smersh

    Commissar Smersh 2020 Staff Member

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    Is your son unable to see his half-sister unless the ex stays over? Given they're all adults I don't think it's unreasonable to ask/state that he not stay there but allow the half-sister. Unless, you don't want the drama of course.

    So, no, your feelings here are totally legit even with the couple decades in between.
  7. MaesterB

    MaesterB King of the Wicker People

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    I dunno. If it's been that long, it's water under the bridge IMHO.
  8. mistawiskas

    mistawiskas kik n a and takin names

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    I just find it kind of weird that a person would even expect for it to be OK. Getting along with the guy is one thing but there are normal boundries to consider. That would be outside of what is considered normal.
  9. MSP

    MSP Haunting a dead forum...

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    Of course the relationship is long over. But the trouble here is that nobody really considered his feelings, and it's pretty bizarre to have an ex over for a sleepover. And for what reason, to save money on a hotel? Anyway, at the core it's just a respect issue. He should have been asked before these plans were made. And frankly the plans should never have been made, the whole situation smacks of woman logic, aka nonsense.
  10. Commissar Smersh

    Commissar Smersh 2020 Staff Member

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    Wogic, lol.

    Tac mentioned the entire family is coming, is it a reunion or something? I mean maaaaaybe it might be considerate to host him if it's a funeral or something but outside of that fuck that.
  11. 86mcss

    86mcss Devouring your Soul

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    +1

    Maybe you can get them a room at the closest hotel 6 for a couple nights?
  12. Tacdriver

    Tacdriver Junior Member

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    My son and daughter have a half sister and she's wonderful. She is now a Mother. She has stayed here on many occasions before that. My son can't travel to where they live so she has always been welcome here. Now the entire family wants to come and no, I wasn't consulted. I was told when they were coming. ON ST. PATTY'S OF ALL DAYS?!??!? I mean that's my day. I guess I'll be in the garage for most of it but, I'm the cook of the house so maybe not. Corned Beef and unwanted peeps......awesome.
  13. MSP

    MSP Haunting a dead forum...

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    Maybe you just let this incident go down and then pull the wife aside later to explain how it's going to be. I've got one of the most self absorbed clueless wives in the history of forever, and she wouldn't invite ANYONE to stay in my house with my prior knowledge and consent.
  14. Tacdriver

    Tacdriver Junior Member

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    Perhaps you're right. I know I sound 14 but, this just sucks.
  15. MSP

    MSP Haunting a dead forum...

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    Nah, it's not juvenile at all. You're not jealous of this guy, you're just (rightfully) ticked off because she totally disregarded your feelings. She probably didn't mean any harm, but like most women lacks the ability to think rationally about matters of the heart. C'mon ladies, I'm not being sexist, that shit is just true. Most women are emotional "thinkers".
  16. Commissar Smersh

    Commissar Smersh 2020 Staff Member

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    Even if Tac is jealous, there's nothing wrong or irrational about how he's feeling.

    Fuck, you all know how liberal I am but I still subscribe to the "man of the house" principle. That even comes from my mother, go go Christian upbringing.
  17. Tacdriver

    Tacdriver Junior Member

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    Thanks for the back up. I'd fly you here Comm but after a few minutes, we would probably get on each others nerves. :)
  18. nidex

    nidex Hood Rich

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    If your step daughter has a relationship with your wife's ex (a good relationship), I don't see the problem. It has been 23 years, and it's not like they're going to be sleeping in the same bed together. Personally I wouldn't worry about it, and as long as there's nothing to be suspect of, it kind of shows your wife and step-daughter that you're insecure or untrusting (no offense), and making a big deal out of nothing. Of course you're going to feel the way you do... hell, I would too, but at the same time you should act like an adult and not create a problem where there isn't one. I just don't see the issue if you're in the bedroom boning your wife and he's sleeping on the couch downstairs for a night.
  19. JZL

    JZL Ministry of Whack

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    I think it's unfortunate they didn't consult you, but I don't see a big problem with the guy staying there. It will perhaps be more uncomfortable for him than it will be for you, if that helps any. Always the believer in meaning what you say and saying what you mean, I don't see any problem either with you talking to wife/family and simply saying, "I'm going along with this this time, but you should've asked me first. Why didn't you?"
  20. nidex

    nidex Hood Rich

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    Best idea thus far.
  21. annadora

    annadora Drug Dealer

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    I agree. I'm big on communication. If you're bothered by the fact that you weren't asked, how will anyone know this if you don't tell them?