Emo Rambling

Discussion in 'OT Graveyard' started by NoseMaster, Jan 12, 2005.

?

Should I get rid of her?

  1. Yes

    100.0%
  2. No

    0 vote(s)
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  3. *shrug* read my post

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  1. NoseMaster

    NoseMaster Horrible Person

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    Be forewarned, this is my emo problems with my girlfriend. If you don't care, or don't want to read a lot, don't bother. I can not cliffnotes this.

    I don't know how much stock I'll hold in your opinions. Because, well, if I relied heavily on people's opinions to form my decisions, what kind of person would that make me?

    It goes down like this:

    I've been going out with a girl named Megan for the past 19 months. She is my second girlfriend, my first love. I'm usually very happy with her, and everything she does for me. Always... doing certain favors, leaving me little notes, making me presents/cookies etc. 90% or more of the time, the relationship is perfect. I couldn't ask for anything more.

    This is where the hard part comes in. She's... rather friendly. She used to constantly hug her male (majority of them are guys) friends. I eventually told her to stop this because I'm too insecure to deal with it. I told her this because of my insecurity, and because one of her friends would get the wrong idea.

    That exact thing happened, last year. Her friend by the name of Jeremy fell in "love" with her. He would constantly tell her it, and basically wouldn't leave her alone about it. She was still friends with him after the fact, and didn't tell him that she didn't like him as more than a friend until I threatened to break up with her.

    She later on told me that she did have feelings for him at a certain time.

    And then, my insecurity got the better of me. Even after she told him this, I demanded that she stop speaking with him. I told her to make a choice, his "friendship", or my love. She made a choice, me. Or, so I thought.

    This was last year. It's about halfway into this year. I had known something was wrong for a few months, but didn't really inquire about it. I'm a pussy like that, and I was afraid.

    I learned tonight that she has become friends with him again, has received "small" hugs from him (she described it as a one armed pat), and he still confesses and reminds her of his "love"/obsession with her, daily.

    I completely broke down when I heard this. I couldn't breathe. I blew up on her, climaxing with the phrase "he can fucking have you."

    I took it back after she was sobbing hard for about 20 seconds. I'm a worm. Anyways, my ultimatum was this: The same choice I gave you last year. Make your fucking choice, and let me know on Friday.

    I was going to add if she broke it again I was going to end it with her, but that would probably have been an empty threat.

    I honestly can't imagine my life without her. I've thought about breaking up with her before, but she's really all I have. I have her, a few close friends (like 3ish). I don't know if I could get anything better, and I'm just being picky at this point. I mean, it's not like she sucked him off or anything.

    That's enough rambling.

    *sighs* So. Opinions. If you're going to say "IDB" or something of that nature, please don't fucking bother.

    Like I said before, I probably won't rely much on your opinions, but perhaps one of you will shed some insight. Point out something I'm not realizing.
  2. ShabazKillaX

    ShabazKillaX I'm an F18 bro

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    Emo bastards get no food.


    Serious note - it is entirely inappropriate for her to continue to be friends with a guy who is hitting on her.

    If you weren't an emo I'd say confront the guy and put a hurt on him.
  3. thadood

    thadood I Am The Black Wizards

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    Haha, or showers.
  4. korber

    korber New Member

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    [00:58:27] Tony: I posted it on tweak eh
    [00:58:36] korber86: kk
    [00:58:49] korber86: there just gona be like "IDB"
    [00:58:59] Tony: *sighs* So. Opinions. If you're going to say "IDB" or something of that nature, please don't fucking bother.
    [00:59:03] Tony: that last sentence is in bold
    [00:59:21] korber86: : *sighs* So. Opinions. If you're going to say "IDB" or
    [00:59:28] korber86: haha did you really put idb in there
    [00:59:31] Tony: heh
    [00:59:32] Tony: :p
    [00:59:36] korber86: and thats what i said
    [00:59:37] korber86: ROFL
    [00:59:55] Tony: we know eachother too well eh
  5. ninefivezero

    ninefivezero infinite resolution

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    Well I think the person with the problem is: A) you for being so insecure you don't want her to have other guy friends, or at least other guy friends that touch her in any way, B) Him for acting like a stocker and going after someone who is already with someone else.

    I think you would be a fool to break up with her over something as petty as this, if you really care about the relationship.
  6. Boltsky

    Boltsky Banned

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    It's a catch 22. It's okay for girls with boyfriends to hug guys but it is not okay for guys with girlfriends to hug girls, and in my opinion, girls and guys involved in loving or meaningful relationships should not be touching people other than their significant other in that manner. Stick by your decision of giving her an ultimatum, because the minute you faulter, she will think she can just apologize and (re)pick you. You have to sit her down and say "Listen, I know you might have feelings for him, and I would like to think that you have feelings of love for me, but if you are going to be around him in this manner of an informal attempt to hit on you, I will not be comfortable nor will I be able to trust you. You have to make a decision, either me or him, not one relationship of bilateral love and another of unilateral romantics. (I say romantics because this kid who is hitting on your girlfriend probably doesn't even know here well enough to love her)" And to anyone who is going to be an asshat and make bullshit comments, seriously, fuck off. I think this forum is tired of your bullshit in general and it's getting rather repetitive. (Reference, IDB comments on pseudo-serious topics as this, asking for advice or help)
  7. NoseMaster

    NoseMaster Horrible Person

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    Haha. Thanks for cheering me up a bit. "If you weren't an emo"
  8. Pope John

    Pope John the most modest.

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    I kinda know this situation. Except I'm sorta in the position of Jeremy. :-\...

    Quick oversight of my position to secure validity: I like this girl, a lot, more than any girl I've ever liked like this. I've never had anything so special in my life. Talking everyday for hours on the phone, hanging out and such nonsense. Well, she and my good friend used to date. They broke up a few months ago, before I even started hanging out with either of them... Well, she's not over him. I told her that I really care about her, and that I'd do anything for her. Anything she asked. She basically said that she's not interested in me. Which at first I didn't believe, because after some of the conversations we've had, a few things she has said to me... Well, I believed otherwise. That she was only saying that as to avoid issues with my friend... or something... But yeah, that's a quick synopsis of my situation. :'(
    Oh yeah, she is a very physical person. Hugs and stuff, pretty much guaranteed if you at least know her name. She is by no means a slut, but she just gives hugs and is kinda flirty.


    :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

    Anyways yeah. I think you over-reacted a little. A hug is a big deal to me, I value the people who I give hugs, but not all people look at it that way. It's not intimate to a lot of people. Perhaps your girlfriend just sees it as a friendly hello. And by you saying "You can't hang out with him, can't hug him," et cetera... You just made yourself look like an asshole.

    So just ease off of it. Apologize to your girl. Tell her that it bothers you so much that you can't even express it in words. The only suitable way to express how much it bothers you would to scream incoherently while punching the shit out of something... Be all melodramatic and make sure she understands that it bothers you a lot. Then give her the choice to handle the situation where they can be friends with almost no physical contact, or not be friends at all. Whichever you think is reasonable and would work out for you.

    If she cares about you, I don't think she will ever date this guy... And if she does, you'll never hear about it.
  9. Boltsky

    Boltsky Banned

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    I would also like to reinforce ShabazKillaX's statement. Also, make a statement to him to stay away. If he doesn't, well, as Shabaz outlined, put a hurt on him. He won't dare try this shit again if he thinks her real lover is going to kick the shit out of him.
  10. braaains

    braaains gubble gubble

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    Man, i hate other guys.

    Im pissed off that my girlfriends Ex of a year is calling her now. I dont even know him or what he looks like or anything. I guess the other night he said "I miss the way you smell." and she said thats enough.

    I swear, if i ever ran into the guy i'd probably take a good shot to his face. But I dont even know what he looks like.

    I know she's not interested, especially considering even after they went out a year, he still gets her, her least favorite flower and is clueless. Oh man i hate the guy though. And theres history there so its worse.


    Um, yeah im ranting.


    In the end, fuck other guys. Shes knows it bothers you. Talk to her about it calmly now that its not all furious. She should get the clue.
  11. namelessentity

    namelessentity Resident Cynic

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    I dunno, my opinion of love is pure trust. If you think she loves you, and you really know you love here, then you have nothing to worry about.

    I know that with my current girlfriend I have no fear. If guys hit on her or whatever I don't mind because I know she's not interested and it's me that she wants. I might be pissed a tthe guy for having no respect for our relationship, but it's not a jealousy issue, it's them just being asses.

    Anyway, I don't think the relationship is healthy or going anywhere if you're going to be the jealous boyfriend that demands "him or me". It never works, she eithers chooses him, or lies and says you but keeps on talking to him secretly. You need to work on trusting her. She needs to work on telling this idiot that she's dating you and he needs to back the fuck up and try to just be her friend and nothing more.
  12. Boltsky

    Boltsky Banned

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    To make relationships work both in a business sense and personal sense (romantic in this case) sometimes you have to be the asshole, otherwise no one else will to set it back on track.
  13. Pope John

    Pope John the most modest.

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    That's true. But delivering an ultimatum that completely throws away the relationship doesn't help either.
  14. Boltsky

    Boltsky Banned

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    If I were in his position and faced with the inevitable conclusion that they were going to eventually end their relationship, I would rather end it now than ending it 6 months from now because she eventually fell for his incessant romantics. It would magnify the situation and the possible emotional pain if she were to drag this on. Simply put, make it seem more lucrative and desirable to be with you. Couple that with strong feelings of love between both of you, and you have a win/win combination that virtually nothing could disrupt. You just gotta treat it like a business deal.

    Edit, I would like to expand. You speak of ruining a relationship because of an ultimatum. If she seriously is that confused with her feelings that she can not make the right decision (being him, obviously) within 48 hours then she has other problems to deal with and shouldn't be dating someone. Sorry if I come off as an asshole, but I think wasting time is one of the most pathetic things you can do. Either she loves him (which I think she does, and I hope to be true) or she's a whore, simply put.
  15. hans5849

    hans5849 Serious as a heart attack

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    fucking long threads.

    I think you should break up with her because you seem that your trust is failing in her and its going to break down, on the other hand you could come out of this even better. (See Boltsky Catch 22)

    Your how old any ways 18/19/20 the chances of you being with her til you die are slim.
  16. NoseMaster

    NoseMaster Horrible Person

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    [​IMG]

    This thread needed a little cheering up. :|.

    You can't link to bitmaps? What a cocking.
  17. ShabazKillaX

    ShabazKillaX I'm an F18 bro

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    Based on that picture, I can't imagine why some other guy would think he could steal your woman.
  18. Jackalope

    Jackalope NNNNEEERRRRDDDSSSSS!!!!!!

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    I woulds ay the ultimatum thing is a bad idea. I mean if she is everything you've ever wanted, why in the hell would you throw it all away? especially for soething as stupid as a friend of hers. by saying she cant have other friends is kidna unfair. instead of making her choose, you should go have a talk with the guy and tell him that you are having a problem with him.

    i really hate to see great relationship dissolve over stupid stuff., really, dont be so rash, actually talk everything through and get everything straight. then if it is still impossible for you to live in the situation, then id say do something serious to change it (ie breakup ultimatum idb whatever)
  19. NoseMaster

    NoseMaster Horrible Person

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    I said if it not for how friendly she is, she'd be everything I've ever wanted. There's a difference between a guy friend, which she has tons of and most are pretty good guys, and a cock that says "Omg I love you so much" over and over to her everyday.

    I'm not very... confrontational, but I guess I'm gonna have to, eh. I'll see how things turn out.

    She's already beating herself up pretty bad over it, and thinks she's already lost me. I'mma prolly give her another chance, eh. I might just have to show that boy where the wild goose goes, though :evil:

    Miller, care to offer some... *help*?
  20. Boltsky

    Boltsky Banned

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    All of this coming from a bisexual who does too many drugs? Yeah, your opinion is highly valued.
  21. Karrionhardt

    Karrionhardt New Member

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    I don't think you're being entirely realistic. And throwing needlessly fatalistic ultimatums around like so much garbage probably isn't helping anything. In fact, I mean, if your girlfriend of NINETEEN MONTHS is thinking she's already lost you, and you haven't bothered to clarify out of reasons that are in all honesty probably selfish, then this has hit critical mass and you need to fucking deal with this pronto.

    What you really need to do is sit down and ask yourself if this is worth losing her over.

    Need help? Okay. It isn't. Talk to her about it, tell her how you feel, but she isn't property - and sadly, you dictating how she lives her life is probably not working miracles for your relationship. I hope you were sitting down for that one, because it can be a doozy. It was for most of us.

    But hey, you know what? Go ahead and pull this Shakespearian bullshit if you really, really want to. Some people just love the drama, and I'm sure the other guy will thank you for it after it likely drives the woman you love right into his arms. It's not like it hasn't happened before. On a related note, I'm sure the Wisconsin Mob beating his ass will make you look like a shining star in her eyes, too.

    The Good Doctor orders you to realize she's not a goddamned Tonka Truck and to maintain Perspective. Take three Chilldefukoot (45 Milligrams) and call me in the morning.
  22. MSP

    MSP Haunting a dead forum...

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    Exactly correct. Regardless of how great your relationship appears this should not be happening, and the fact that it has come up twice should be an enormous red flag. She may see it as harmless, and it may be. But the dude has repeatedly expressed interest in her, and you have rightfully expressed concerns about it that she is ignoring.

    That said, women don't like pussies, and you are being a pussy. Frankly I would have already dumped her by now. Tell her it stops immediately and if you get wind of it again she's gone. You're insecure to be sure, but it's just not appropriate behavior for someone who supposedly is in a committed relationship.
  23. nidex

    nidex Hood Rich

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    It sounds to me like you're more pussy whipped than I thought. You need to take control of the relationship and lay it on the line. I had to do the same with Erica.

    Oh yeah, and I know about the 'so pissed off you can't breathe' deal. Ever had the 'so pissed off your whole body is shaking and you can't control it'? I had that once, ask Tony about it. I just got out of the car and sprinted for like 5 miles straight, then beat the fuck out of a mailbox. :D

    Anyways, I think you should get rid of her just because she can't stand up for herself. If she honestly cared about how you felt about him, she would have chose not to have contact with him at all. But, she's too weak to do that. On top of that, she kept her 'friendship' with him a secret(or so it sounds, by the way you worded it). You obviously can't trust the bitch.

    And, you need to stop being such a fucking pussy. Seriously. I'm not the biggest guy around and some guy that was a little bigger than me was doing kind-of the same thing to Erica, except not to the same extent. He just kept calling and texting her. I saw him somewhere, and I got in his face and told him straight up if he contacts her again I'm going to rip his balls off, shove them down his throat and take the angle grinder to his face. He stayed away. It works.

    So overall, the problem lies with you and her. Granted that it is mostly her, but if you want it to stop, you have the power to do that. It's just you don't want to. If I was you, I'd ditch the bitch.

    Oh yeah.. is Jeremy that little fuck that I dumped the bottle of cologne on last year?
  24. Miller

    Miller Tweak Guru

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    you need to lay the smackdown on this guy. tell him not to be hitting on your girl. but let them be friends. if you trust her she wont do anything.

    and you shouldnt be pissed about your girl being friends with other guys, i used to be like that then i was like, wtf, i'm really good friends with a shit load of girls and always give them hugs and shit and it doenst mean anything.

    you need to work on being more secure and trust her better. and beat that guys ass with a lead pipe
  25. MSP

    MSP Haunting a dead forum...

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    Guys are going to hit on girls, that's the way it works. No point getting into a fight it sounds like you might not be able to handle... ;) The problem is that she either ignorantly does not see this as a problem, or she's keeping her options open. Probably option #2...