Driving broken shit.

Discussion in 'Gearhead Garage' started by nidex, Mar 28, 2014.

  1. nidex

    nidex Hood Rich

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    So how many of y'all motherfuckers are PROFUCKINFESSIONAL at driving broken cars? I mean for real, no joke... I'm starting to think I'm getting there lately. Or at least within the past few months.

    So I had an '03 Taurus for a daily driver from late fall until like December... then the cops took it. Anyway, it cost way more to get the car back then it was worth, so I said fuck it and bought a $300 Sentra.

    All it needed was a brake line (for one brake) and a wheel cylinder, for another. So basically it had 2 brakes. Now, I bought this bitch right after the Taurus went to the pigs, so it was like almost January. This winter has been, by far, THE COLDEST, WORSTEST, SHITTIEST fucking winter as long as I can remember. Temperature has gotten down to -15*F for days at a time, multiple times... and no, that's not the wind chill, that's the actual temperature.

    So of course January 31 is the end of my lease at the garage I have, and the new garage I found doesn't start until March 1. So, for a month, I have nowhere to work on my cars, or any customers for that matter. Actually... well, I worked on customers at my friend's work, I threw him a couple bones to use the lift and such.

    But regardless, with no garage I have my daily which needs brakes, my "project" that is half together, and like 2-3 customer cars sitting outside my house. Not to mention I have more customers fucking calling my phone nonstop asking me when I can fix their shit. Why does everyone's car have to break when it's six fucking degrees outside?

    Oh... so anyways, one morning I wake up and my Sentra don't start. I take a peek, and wow, it's leaking gas! Rusted fuel line, all the way up. So, now I have to put a fuel line at least to the fuel filter if not to the rail to get my daily driver going. Keep in mind, the day this happened I think it was 2 degrees. Maybe 3 or 4 by the lake. Anyways, the wind was blowing and I'm out there trying to hook a metal line to a metal line. My hands got completely froze, so I said fuck it, ripped my back seat out, and ran a rubber feed line from the fuel pump all the way to the filter (which is right next to the rail). Now I have 4-5 feet of rubber fuel line just hanging limp dick under my car.


    So I start going with it, and sure enough, the fucking other brake line takes a shit. So now I have absolutely no brakes. I stopped the car using the e-brake for a day and a half or so, which was no picnic. I had to throw the bitch in neutral and start pulling up on the e-brake about a quarter mile before I had to stop. So you can imagine how well this worked in traffic. I drove up on the median so many god damn times... until I finally got sick of it. It was 5 degrees out, but I welded the 2 rear lines shut, and bled them from the master... same with the front 2, even though the front 2 didn't go into the proportioning valve. But anyways, it worked, enough to stop the car.

    My question is, why the fuck does everybody's shit, including mine, have to break when it's fucking 0 degrees outside? Oh, and I broke an axle on one of the -10*F days. I had to put that in in a parking lot, running back to the other car every 45 seconds to warm my hands and such because it was so fucking cold. Anyways, I got it done, and the customers' shit done.

    Now that my garage is in function I have no problems, but I mean what the fuck? It's like the one winter it decides to just fuck me, and everybody else hard up the ass with no lube and a 14" dildo, everything decides to go to shit. It really blows when it's so cold that you walk outside for not even 10 seconds and your limbs go fucking numb.

    I don't know what the point of this is really, I'm intoxicated. I swear this is my last winter in the Midwest. I'm going to fucking California, Arizona, Texas... hell, even Atlanta, Charlotte, Virginia... I don't give a fuck, I just can't do any more of this "NEGATIVE FIFTY FIVE FOR A WIND CHILL TODAY" bullshit. For what? Nothing except a bunch of hicks and nonsense. I quit. Peace.

    So how was your winter?! :]
  2. mistawiskas

    mistawiskas kik n a and takin names

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    I wouldn't know, we're in drought conditions, or so they say. It must have rained two inches here yesterday though.
    When you were getting hit with all that miserable cold, we were in the 60 and even 70's.
    Yes, everything falls apart when it gets cold.
  3. mullet1

    mullet1 Junior Member

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    murphy's law seems to be relevant here.
  4. mistawiskas

    mistawiskas kik n a and takin names

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    I live 7 miles from a town called "Murphy". We say that all the time here.
  5. MSP

    MSP Haunting a dead forum...

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    I can't stand driving a car with ANYTHING broken. I'm pretty OCD, so if the slightest thing isn't working properly I get it fixed right away.
    86mcss says thanks for this.
  6. 86mcss

    86mcss Devouring your Soul

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    i am the same way. always have been. dan can contest to that lol
  7. Commissar Smersh

    Commissar Smersh 2020 Staff Member

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    FTFY
    86mcss says thanks for this.
  8. funkgab

    funkgab Junior Member

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    your a tough son of a gun, sorry but i feel like a damn princess here in california..
    well smersh, i just noticed your sig! guess i should save this moment
  9. mistawiskas

    mistawiskas kik n a and takin names

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  10. 86mcss

    86mcss Devouring your Soul

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    drunken reply on my behalf :D
  11. hans5849

    hans5849 Serious as a heart attack

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    Salt all over the roads. My car is making all kinds of weird sounds after one IL winter.